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''“Hey, basher! You look real fresh, you do. From some backring demiplane, or are you a Lemon? Either way -- you’re clueless, I can tell. Why don’t me and you give this place the laugh, an’ we can talk real personal-like, all about you. What, you thinkin’ I’m gonna take your jink? Bar that, I’m just lookin’ to give this bar the laugh and pay some kindness forward by offerin’ you a bit of direction. | |||
So how about it, I and you go and look at the Rager’s Record and see what kind of mibix is popular these days..?”'' - Arthie Lemon-Eater, Tanar’ri Tout | |||
The Rager’s Record is both an IC and OOC guide, written in setting-appropriate style, for new and veteran players alike, intended to assist in locating level-appropriate places for parties to venture. This is intended to be used in conjunction with the Planeswalkers Guild quests, a system wherein a character can take on ‘quests’ which reward XP and occasionally gold (or entirely gold, for post-20 characters) with the occasional chance for a unique reward. Guild NPCs can be found throughout the Market Ward, where your character first starts off. | |||
Lower-level places to adventure will be given more specific descriptions, whereas higher-tier (Level 15+) locations will have vaguer descriptions. Not all locations (or even most) will be on this list, and you are encouraged to either venture out and explore yourself, or interact with other characters to discover more. | |||
A | ''Between wanted posters, graffiti, and all sorts of mischief on the Debtor’s Pole in the Market Ward’s Bazaar -- there it lies, the Rager’s Record. A list of all the harder places, people, and things to bash, penned by the Brotherhood of Glory. It has plenty of ‘X’s near each list, and it seems to go from easy places to give the laugh, to the sorts’ve locale only the mad or the truly powerful dare visit. Fortunately for you, Arthie’s willin’ to instruct you on what’s what.'' | ||
==For Lemon-Scented Berks (Level 7-10)== | |||
Newt Street, Market Ward -- | |||
''“You can’t miss this, berk! Buncha goblins an’ thugs in an unusual alliance, tryin’ to shiv the occasional unwary ‘walker out of their lunchjink. Go south-west across the Fulcrum, and you’ll see an Indep named Garratt who guards the entrance. Speak to ‘im, sometimes he even buys bounties off an ambitious bod.”'' | |||
Sewers, Market Ward -- | |||
''“Same as above, friend. No, literally -- right next to Garratt again. He even buys gibberlin’ heads from the sewers below. Go far enough, an’ you might just find something more… Reptilian. Ignore the piano spider, it’s xaos.”'' | |||
Warehouse, Market Ward -- | |||
''“About the Windin’ Streets of the Market Ward, there’s a bloke named ‘Thukkaur’ outside an old warehouse. He’s lookin’ for exterminators. Go down deep enough, past the sewer beastlies, and you’ll find meenlocks waitin’ for you -- he’ll buy their carcasses from you.”'' | |||
Bug-Infested Manse, Clerks Ward -- | |||
''“Pike is this? Another exterminator? You’re a real lucky berk, you. Find a chit named Monireh, and she’ll give you the whole sob story ‘bout this unlucky purchase. Who cares, go an’ kill the mother beastly and give her back the hide for some jink. She’s about the Clerk’s Ward, next to the Archives and the Wayfarer -- hard to miss.”'' | |||
Big-Brain Rats underneath Zakk’s Corpse Curing, Market Ward -- | |||
''“Zakk gives me the creeps. Go on and help her get rid of some big-brain ratties, yeah? You can find her just next to Xanist’s Store, about the Fulcrum in the Market Ward.”'' | |||
A Sunken Mansion, Hive Ward -- | |||
''“Chant goes that there’s a sunken mansion about the Hive Ward, filled with… Somethin’. The dark on this one’s not clear to me, cutter -- why don’t you go out and explore a bit? You can enter the Hive through the Lower Ward, but be careful… It ain’t safe there.”'' | |||
Some Sod’s Necromancy Lab, Lower Ward -- | |||
''“Twikst the Skinless likes skin-- no, basher, he LOVES skin. You can find him about the Lower Ward. Apparently, he knows the secret key to a necromancer’s demiplane, and pays for their apprentices’ skin. Creepy.”'' | |||
A Ruined Museum, Lady’s Ward -- | |||
''“Apparently, one of Lahach Tahl’s rivals decided to pull a prank and make some of her instalments come alive. That, nasty spiders and a few surprises make this an interestin’ spot to visit. One of her attendants near the entrance’ll give you the full story. Look about the Lady’s Ward, near the Park of the Infernal and Divine.”'' | |||
An Undersigil Crypt, Lower Ward -- | |||
''“Not much to say about this, basher. Look about the Lower Ward, near ol’ Twikst or thereabouts. A mixture of graverobbers an’ deaders, and word is that you can even find the ‘robber’s own entrypoint, leadin’ to their base o’ operations in the Outlands. Sounds fun.”'' | |||
==For Chivsharp Cutters (Level 10-15)== | |||
A Yeti Lair, Dwarven Mountain -- | |||
''“Rumour is, some old dusty buildin’ in the Lady’s Ward has a way to get near these yeti caves. Not much else t’ say about them, really -- other than y’ should probably pack on the furs. It’s cold, an’ yeti have real sharp teeth that’ll cut through any thin threads.”'' | |||
Xorn-Infested Gem Mines -- | |||
''“Xorn’re a joke. They’re funny lookin’, funny smellin’, and funny-- whatever. Go about the Earth Plane enough and you’ll find ‘em. Easy enough to pen, but be careful… Rumour is, there’s somethin’ worse which roosts near them.”'' | |||
Spiders, Weirath Woods -- | |||
''“Spiders’re everywhere. There’s more spiders about the ‘verse than there are repressed perverts in the Guvners. These ones in particular are nasty, though. Word is that they even have a large ‘queen’ somewhere in the fields. An’ whatever you do, don’t go into that ominous cave. It ain’t a cave, and it ain’t worth it.”'' | |||
Man-Eating Kuo-toa, Water Plane -- | |||
''“Simple enough, cutter. Wade through the waters enough and you’ll find ‘em -- just make sure to steer clear o’ the swamps if you’re not ready for a fight. Err-- that is, more o’ a fight than what a bunch o’ cannibals can offer.”'' | |||
Githyanki Ruins, Astral Plane -- | |||
''“Githyanki, githstanki. Gith an inch, take a mile. Go look about the astral plane enough and you’ll find ‘em -- probably. They’re hidin’ something larger within their lair, pet or master. If you’ve found a bunch o’ idiot cultists, you’re goin’ the wrong way. Or the right way. Who knows.”'' | |||
Lizardmen, Semuanya’s Bog -- | |||
''“Slavers, berk. Most don’t like ‘em -- they’re either immoral, or competition. You can find ‘em real easy by taking a trip down the Windin’ Streets bog, ‘aving a cheeky flush, an’ movin’ straight on. Don’t believe me? Try it.”'' | |||
A Crystal Cavern, Lower Ward -- | |||
''“I got nothin’ for you on this one, cutter. Save for the fact that it’s real near the Shattered Temple, the Athar’s headquarters. Wanna know when a Defier’s talkin’ abou Powers? Their lips’re movin’.”'' | |||
Frost Giant Fortress, Dwarven Mountain -- | |||
''“Take the path from the Clerk’s Ward to Old Ridge, take a right, and you’ll find yourself on Dwarven Mountain. The giant lair ain’t hard t’ spot from there -- mean buggers, and make sure you pack somethin’ for the cold. You’ll chill to death there. Whatever you do, though, don’t venture too deep to meet their master…”'' | |||
Harpies, Water Plane Swamp -- | |||
''“Inbetween dangerous berks, is easy prey. The harpies have had it too good for too long -- just ignore their swingin’ jewels and gross features, and give ‘em a right good bash. They’re not too far away from the Genasi Village, and if you visit Sigil’s bathhouses -- you might even be find yourself a way to the Plane itself. Just bring a towel to keep y’self dry.”'' | |||
==For Barmy Bloods (Level 15-20)== | |||
Fey’s Forest, Koren -- | |||
''“Here’s a tip for you, cutter -- if y’ intend on visiting the Koren and killin’ fey, don’t. Or if you do, be real quiet about it. See, these fey are ‘goodly’, and most don’t appreciate people killin’ goodly things. I don’t care, though. They’re tasty. Head to the Clerk’s Ward Archives and have a read, take a sheet, get real stuck into a good book.”'' | |||
Malebranche’s Tower, Avernus -- | |||
''“You like the Blood War, berk? Good! You’re in it! Go and bash that tower’s berks. Just make sure not to step in the Styx nearby, else you’re worse than penned. How’d you get there, say? Just bother some wiggler t’ send you. He’ll be happy to kick your cheeks ‘bout a portal. Or find a canny Gatecrasher to show you one of the Lady’s portals…”'' | |||
Lycanthrope Lair, Koren Forest -- | |||
''“Somewhere about the Koren Forest, you’ll find a band of sick and twisted things: no, not the pikin’ fey. The almost-wolves. Their leader have a bunch o’ concubine savages with him, and hides away a she-witch in the mountain nearby. And treasure, ‘course.”'' | |||
Caligrosto’s Dream, Abyssal Dreamgulf -- | |||
''“Hard t’ find, those caligrosto. Apparently, you can find a cavern somewhere ‘bout the first layer of the Abyss which lets you visit -- sounds like a leap o’ faith to me.”'' | |||
Minotaur’s Outreach, Dwarven Mountain -- | |||
''“Somewhere near the Cadarn, you can find a whole lotta minotaurs. Near-but-not-quite that giant fortress ‘bout there, you can access it through Old Ridge-or-thereabouts.”'' | |||
The | The Bakemono, Untamo’s Heights -- | ||
''“Pikin’ amateurs. Demon worshippers -- and not even good at it. About Untamo’s Heights, hidden in a valley, y’ can find goblin-creatures with all sorts of no-good business goin’ about. Best t’ pen them now before they become a real problem, yeah? On an unrelated note, I hear that buyin’ fabrics from the tailor in the Clerk’s Ward is all the rage, and wearin’ them real nearby makes you a real show-off.”'' | |||
Ogre Chieftain’s Lair, Koren Forest -- | |||
''“What’s worse than lycans? The ogres that live next to ‘em.”'' | |||
The Tower, Semuanya’s Bog -- | |||
''“Skellies, berk. Skellies with big swords with a classic ol’ witch at the top of her tower. What’s below..? No clue… Don’t check unless you’re equipped for it. And can hold yer breath.”'' | |||
Fire Giant Fortress, Fire Plane -- | |||
''“Little-known portal about the Wayfarer takes you here, berk. Not gonna tell you the key, though -- I’m mean like that. Simple as piss when you figure it out, though -- bunch o’ bods defendin’ their sacred home and families, and you’re there to pen ‘em. Cruel ‘verse.”'' | |||
Yuan-ti Temple, Unknown Jungle Prime -- | |||
''“Rare that a Planeswalker bothers with Primes, when you’ve got all sorts of goodies about the Planes -- but this one’s interestin’, and different. Filled with yuan-ti, see -- got their own little ritual-spot filled with goodies lined up. Word is, there’s even something else out there…”'' | |||
Caverns of Thought, Outlands -- | |||
''“Divine Realm’s are all about the Outlands, but this one’s… Different. Some big worm-thing’s inside, an’ its got a hide which makes for great protection against Sigil’s acid rain and all other sorts of blek. Go further down, though.. .And you meet the brains o’ the operation. Don’t do it without a proper team, or risk suicide. Or assimilation.”'' | |||
Undead Prime -- | |||
''“There’s an archway somewhere in the Market Ward which takes you here, berk -- not tellin’ you where, or with what key though. A whole prime filled with deaders, and what’s better, there’s a whole barrow filled with riches ripe for the takin’ right next to where you’d land. ‘Course, it’s filled with deaders, so… Not as easy as it sounds.”'' | |||
Forgotten Temple of Fire, Fire Plane -- | |||
''“Bring somethin’ to handle the heat to this mess, berk. Puzzles an’ mazes about this place, giants and elementals galore. Filled with riches too, though whatever you do -- don’t go down to the third layer. Just don’t.”'' | |||
Dreaded Spidernests, Nilfheim’s Swamps -- | |||
''“Nilfheim is pikin’ shite. If you’re lucky enough to avoid the creature’s above your Guild paygrade, you can find bugs an’ spiders about. Trolls, too -- and deaders. Perhaps even somethin’ worse you best avoid.”'' | |||
Dwarven Folly, Outlands -- | |||
''“Travel through the forest near the ruins o’ Old Ridge, and you might just find the place: a dwarven ruin, filled with ghostlies and ghouls o’ their departed. What brought t’ be this way, you ask…? Dunno. But you can sometimes hear hissin’ in the air, like a snake, nearby…”'' | |||
The | The Dao’s Great Dismal Delve, Earth Plane -- | ||
''“Nobody likes Dao. Ask any Planeswalker, an’ they all hate Dao. Why? Go an’ visit their gem mines, fight against ‘em -- and they’ll show you why. What’re they protectin’, you ask? Something grand, ‘cause they’re willin’ to put their lives and their slaves’ lives on the line for it.”'' | |||
A Cult Compound, Vale of the Spine -- | |||
''“Hidden about the Vale, a hellish cult keeps a lair, secret-like. If you’re tryin’ to raid it-- just be cautious. They’re known t’ use artillery fire. And they’re real berks about it.”'' | |||
==Proud Planeswalkers (Level 20+)== | |||
A Burg of Great Beasts, Karasuthra -- | |||
''“Explore the plane enough, and you’ll find a great wide ravine-sort-of-thing about Karasuthra. Word is that there’s even a dino about one of the caves -- no, I ain’t lyin’. It’s the genuine article.”'' | |||
The Deeper Swamps, Niflheim -- | |||
''“Pikin’ hate this place, why does it keep on comin’ up on this list? -- Look, if you eye up the swamps enough you’ll find two things worth pennin’, if you don’t die yourself first. The former’s an abominative undead, a big scary thing around a toxic bog. The latter’s a scorpion cave, found in the dustier regions near the swamp.”'' | |||
A Shard of Darkness, Plane of Shadow -- | |||
''“Word is, there’s a dark altar hidden somewhere in the Lower Ward, which opens up to the Plane o’ Shadows. No clue what the key is, though seems like berks heavy with gemstones access it often…”'' | |||
Vampiric Twins, Phlegethon -- | |||
''“Go down the wrong routes in Phlegethon, and you’ll find t’ twins. Hard to miss ‘em, they’re defended by samurai deaders. What’s a samurai? No clue. You’ll be dead long before you get the chance to ask ‘em.”'' | |||
A Vampyr’s Lair, Semuanya’s Bog -- | |||
''“About Semunya’s Bog, there lies rumours of a great giant undead which holds lair there. Word is that you can find its lair, hidden beneath the earth, through a series of ruined tunnels -- where’d that be? Pike if I know! Go and find out yourself if you’re keen.”'' | |||
Cog 200, Mechanus -- | |||
''“Ever heard of GISA? No, not ‘geezer’, I mean-- pike it. Doesn’t matter. Chant is, the Modron Directors of Cog 200 are goin’-- weird. Why not investigate it, see what the pike’s goin’ on? I warn you, though -- the modron ain’t to be messed with if you value your life. Not that you do, ‘course.”'' | |||
==Vaults (15-20+)== | |||
''“Some say they appeared out o’ nowhere, others say they’re part o’ some grand plan by Powers, others say they are prisons for what’s kept within. I say they’re filled with goodies, an’ I like goodies. Vaults’re hidden about the Outlands, an’ each of them require a unique key. Sometimes the Guild likes to give ‘em out, other times you can find them about the lairs o’ greater creatures. If you’re ever lucky enough to find one, cutter, know that trials and treasures await your sorry hide.”'' | |||
==Dragons (20+):== | |||
''“Rumour goes that there’s about five known roosts fer worms o’ different shades to frequent. You’ll hear barmy Planeswalkers of great experience talk about ‘em -- white, red, green, blue, prismatic, dramatic -- but what’re they really goin’ on about? Who knows the dark of it, an’ how these dragons evade death from bein’ so heavily targetted, but what I can tell you is this: they like to roost ‘bout places which correspond to their nature, and they like havin’ bodyguards. If you’re barmy enough to discover it for yourself, use your brain.”'' | |||
==Zhalxos (?):== | |||
''“Don’t.”'' | |||
''“That’s the list, my darling basher. What’re you keen on? -- Oh, and before you go off on your merry way, I need my pay. Tout work ain’t free, you know. What do you mean you didn’t know if was a paid expense? What do I look like, a ring-giver? Now pay up.”'' | |||
Revision as of 21:26, 25 April 2023
“Hey, basher! You look real fresh, you do. From some backring demiplane, or are you a Lemon? Either way -- you’re clueless, I can tell. Why don’t me and you give this place the laugh, an’ we can talk real personal-like, all about you. What, you thinkin’ I’m gonna take your jink? Bar that, I’m just lookin’ to give this bar the laugh and pay some kindness forward by offerin’ you a bit of direction.
So how about it, I and you go and look at the Rager’s Record and see what kind of mibix is popular these days..?” - Arthie Lemon-Eater, Tanar’ri Tout
The Rager’s Record is both an IC and OOC guide, written in setting-appropriate style, for new and veteran players alike, intended to assist in locating level-appropriate places for parties to venture. This is intended to be used in conjunction with the Planeswalkers Guild quests, a system wherein a character can take on ‘quests’ which reward XP and occasionally gold (or entirely gold, for post-20 characters) with the occasional chance for a unique reward. Guild NPCs can be found throughout the Market Ward, where your character first starts off.
Lower-level places to adventure will be given more specific descriptions, whereas higher-tier (Level 15+) locations will have vaguer descriptions. Not all locations (or even most) will be on this list, and you are encouraged to either venture out and explore yourself, or interact with other characters to discover more.
Between wanted posters, graffiti, and all sorts of mischief on the Debtor’s Pole in the Market Ward’s Bazaar -- there it lies, the Rager’s Record. A list of all the harder places, people, and things to bash, penned by the Brotherhood of Glory. It has plenty of ‘X’s near each list, and it seems to go from easy places to give the laugh, to the sorts’ve locale only the mad or the truly powerful dare visit. Fortunately for you, Arthie’s willin’ to instruct you on what’s what.
For Lemon-Scented Berks (Level 7-10)
Newt Street, Market Ward --
“You can’t miss this, berk! Buncha goblins an’ thugs in an unusual alliance, tryin’ to shiv the occasional unwary ‘walker out of their lunchjink. Go south-west across the Fulcrum, and you’ll see an Indep named Garratt who guards the entrance. Speak to ‘im, sometimes he even buys bounties off an ambitious bod.”
Sewers, Market Ward --
“Same as above, friend. No, literally -- right next to Garratt again. He even buys gibberlin’ heads from the sewers below. Go far enough, an’ you might just find something more… Reptilian. Ignore the piano spider, it’s xaos.”
Warehouse, Market Ward --
“About the Windin’ Streets of the Market Ward, there’s a bloke named ‘Thukkaur’ outside an old warehouse. He’s lookin’ for exterminators. Go down deep enough, past the sewer beastlies, and you’ll find meenlocks waitin’ for you -- he’ll buy their carcasses from you.”
Bug-Infested Manse, Clerks Ward --
“Pike is this? Another exterminator? You’re a real lucky berk, you. Find a chit named Monireh, and she’ll give you the whole sob story ‘bout this unlucky purchase. Who cares, go an’ kill the mother beastly and give her back the hide for some jink. She’s about the Clerk’s Ward, next to the Archives and the Wayfarer -- hard to miss.”
Big-Brain Rats underneath Zakk’s Corpse Curing, Market Ward --
“Zakk gives me the creeps. Go on and help her get rid of some big-brain ratties, yeah? You can find her just next to Xanist’s Store, about the Fulcrum in the Market Ward.”
A Sunken Mansion, Hive Ward --
“Chant goes that there’s a sunken mansion about the Hive Ward, filled with… Somethin’. The dark on this one’s not clear to me, cutter -- why don’t you go out and explore a bit? You can enter the Hive through the Lower Ward, but be careful… It ain’t safe there.”
Some Sod’s Necromancy Lab, Lower Ward --
“Twikst the Skinless likes skin-- no, basher, he LOVES skin. You can find him about the Lower Ward. Apparently, he knows the secret key to a necromancer’s demiplane, and pays for their apprentices’ skin. Creepy.”
A Ruined Museum, Lady’s Ward --
“Apparently, one of Lahach Tahl’s rivals decided to pull a prank and make some of her instalments come alive. That, nasty spiders and a few surprises make this an interestin’ spot to visit. One of her attendants near the entrance’ll give you the full story. Look about the Lady’s Ward, near the Park of the Infernal and Divine.”
An Undersigil Crypt, Lower Ward --
“Not much to say about this, basher. Look about the Lower Ward, near ol’ Twikst or thereabouts. A mixture of graverobbers an’ deaders, and word is that you can even find the ‘robber’s own entrypoint, leadin’ to their base o’ operations in the Outlands. Sounds fun.”
For Chivsharp Cutters (Level 10-15)
A Yeti Lair, Dwarven Mountain --
“Rumour is, some old dusty buildin’ in the Lady’s Ward has a way to get near these yeti caves. Not much else t’ say about them, really -- other than y’ should probably pack on the furs. It’s cold, an’ yeti have real sharp teeth that’ll cut through any thin threads.”
Xorn-Infested Gem Mines --
“Xorn’re a joke. They’re funny lookin’, funny smellin’, and funny-- whatever. Go about the Earth Plane enough and you’ll find ‘em. Easy enough to pen, but be careful… Rumour is, there’s somethin’ worse which roosts near them.”
Spiders, Weirath Woods --
“Spiders’re everywhere. There’s more spiders about the ‘verse than there are repressed perverts in the Guvners. These ones in particular are nasty, though. Word is that they even have a large ‘queen’ somewhere in the fields. An’ whatever you do, don’t go into that ominous cave. It ain’t a cave, and it ain’t worth it.”
Man-Eating Kuo-toa, Water Plane --
“Simple enough, cutter. Wade through the waters enough and you’ll find ‘em -- just make sure to steer clear o’ the swamps if you’re not ready for a fight. Err-- that is, more o’ a fight than what a bunch o’ cannibals can offer.”
Githyanki Ruins, Astral Plane --
“Githyanki, githstanki. Gith an inch, take a mile. Go look about the astral plane enough and you’ll find ‘em -- probably. They’re hidin’ something larger within their lair, pet or master. If you’ve found a bunch o’ idiot cultists, you’re goin’ the wrong way. Or the right way. Who knows.”
Lizardmen, Semuanya’s Bog --
“Slavers, berk. Most don’t like ‘em -- they’re either immoral, or competition. You can find ‘em real easy by taking a trip down the Windin’ Streets bog, ‘aving a cheeky flush, an’ movin’ straight on. Don’t believe me? Try it.”
A Crystal Cavern, Lower Ward --
“I got nothin’ for you on this one, cutter. Save for the fact that it’s real near the Shattered Temple, the Athar’s headquarters. Wanna know when a Defier’s talkin’ abou Powers? Their lips’re movin’.”
Frost Giant Fortress, Dwarven Mountain --
“Take the path from the Clerk’s Ward to Old Ridge, take a right, and you’ll find yourself on Dwarven Mountain. The giant lair ain’t hard t’ spot from there -- mean buggers, and make sure you pack somethin’ for the cold. You’ll chill to death there. Whatever you do, though, don’t venture too deep to meet their master…”
Harpies, Water Plane Swamp --
“Inbetween dangerous berks, is easy prey. The harpies have had it too good for too long -- just ignore their swingin’ jewels and gross features, and give ‘em a right good bash. They’re not too far away from the Genasi Village, and if you visit Sigil’s bathhouses -- you might even be find yourself a way to the Plane itself. Just bring a towel to keep y’self dry.”
For Barmy Bloods (Level 15-20)
Fey’s Forest, Koren --
“Here’s a tip for you, cutter -- if y’ intend on visiting the Koren and killin’ fey, don’t. Or if you do, be real quiet about it. See, these fey are ‘goodly’, and most don’t appreciate people killin’ goodly things. I don’t care, though. They’re tasty. Head to the Clerk’s Ward Archives and have a read, take a sheet, get real stuck into a good book.”
Malebranche’s Tower, Avernus --
“You like the Blood War, berk? Good! You’re in it! Go and bash that tower’s berks. Just make sure not to step in the Styx nearby, else you’re worse than penned. How’d you get there, say? Just bother some wiggler t’ send you. He’ll be happy to kick your cheeks ‘bout a portal. Or find a canny Gatecrasher to show you one of the Lady’s portals…”
Lycanthrope Lair, Koren Forest --
“Somewhere about the Koren Forest, you’ll find a band of sick and twisted things: no, not the pikin’ fey. The almost-wolves. Their leader have a bunch o’ concubine savages with him, and hides away a she-witch in the mountain nearby. And treasure, ‘course.”
Caligrosto’s Dream, Abyssal Dreamgulf --
“Hard t’ find, those caligrosto. Apparently, you can find a cavern somewhere ‘bout the first layer of the Abyss which lets you visit -- sounds like a leap o’ faith to me.”
Minotaur’s Outreach, Dwarven Mountain --
“Somewhere near the Cadarn, you can find a whole lotta minotaurs. Near-but-not-quite that giant fortress ‘bout there, you can access it through Old Ridge-or-thereabouts.”
The Bakemono, Untamo’s Heights --
“Pikin’ amateurs. Demon worshippers -- and not even good at it. About Untamo’s Heights, hidden in a valley, y’ can find goblin-creatures with all sorts of no-good business goin’ about. Best t’ pen them now before they become a real problem, yeah? On an unrelated note, I hear that buyin’ fabrics from the tailor in the Clerk’s Ward is all the rage, and wearin’ them real nearby makes you a real show-off.”
Ogre Chieftain’s Lair, Koren Forest --
“What’s worse than lycans? The ogres that live next to ‘em.”
The Tower, Semuanya’s Bog --
“Skellies, berk. Skellies with big swords with a classic ol’ witch at the top of her tower. What’s below..? No clue… Don’t check unless you’re equipped for it. And can hold yer breath.”
Fire Giant Fortress, Fire Plane --
“Little-known portal about the Wayfarer takes you here, berk. Not gonna tell you the key, though -- I’m mean like that. Simple as piss when you figure it out, though -- bunch o’ bods defendin’ their sacred home and families, and you’re there to pen ‘em. Cruel ‘verse.”
Yuan-ti Temple, Unknown Jungle Prime --
“Rare that a Planeswalker bothers with Primes, when you’ve got all sorts of goodies about the Planes -- but this one’s interestin’, and different. Filled with yuan-ti, see -- got their own little ritual-spot filled with goodies lined up. Word is, there’s even something else out there…”
Caverns of Thought, Outlands --
“Divine Realm’s are all about the Outlands, but this one’s… Different. Some big worm-thing’s inside, an’ its got a hide which makes for great protection against Sigil’s acid rain and all other sorts of blek. Go further down, though.. .And you meet the brains o’ the operation. Don’t do it without a proper team, or risk suicide. Or assimilation.”
Undead Prime --
“There’s an archway somewhere in the Market Ward which takes you here, berk -- not tellin’ you where, or with what key though. A whole prime filled with deaders, and what’s better, there’s a whole barrow filled with riches ripe for the takin’ right next to where you’d land. ‘Course, it’s filled with deaders, so… Not as easy as it sounds.”
Forgotten Temple of Fire, Fire Plane --
“Bring somethin’ to handle the heat to this mess, berk. Puzzles an’ mazes about this place, giants and elementals galore. Filled with riches too, though whatever you do -- don’t go down to the third layer. Just don’t.”
Dreaded Spidernests, Nilfheim’s Swamps --
“Nilfheim is pikin’ shite. If you’re lucky enough to avoid the creature’s above your Guild paygrade, you can find bugs an’ spiders about. Trolls, too -- and deaders. Perhaps even somethin’ worse you best avoid.”
Dwarven Folly, Outlands --
“Travel through the forest near the ruins o’ Old Ridge, and you might just find the place: a dwarven ruin, filled with ghostlies and ghouls o’ their departed. What brought t’ be this way, you ask…? Dunno. But you can sometimes hear hissin’ in the air, like a snake, nearby…”
The Dao’s Great Dismal Delve, Earth Plane --
“Nobody likes Dao. Ask any Planeswalker, an’ they all hate Dao. Why? Go an’ visit their gem mines, fight against ‘em -- and they’ll show you why. What’re they protectin’, you ask? Something grand, ‘cause they’re willin’ to put their lives and their slaves’ lives on the line for it.”
A Cult Compound, Vale of the Spine --
“Hidden about the Vale, a hellish cult keeps a lair, secret-like. If you’re tryin’ to raid it-- just be cautious. They’re known t’ use artillery fire. And they’re real berks about it.”
Proud Planeswalkers (Level 20+)
A Burg of Great Beasts, Karasuthra --
“Explore the plane enough, and you’ll find a great wide ravine-sort-of-thing about Karasuthra. Word is that there’s even a dino about one of the caves -- no, I ain’t lyin’. It’s the genuine article.”
The Deeper Swamps, Niflheim --
“Pikin’ hate this place, why does it keep on comin’ up on this list? -- Look, if you eye up the swamps enough you’ll find two things worth pennin’, if you don’t die yourself first. The former’s an abominative undead, a big scary thing around a toxic bog. The latter’s a scorpion cave, found in the dustier regions near the swamp.”
A Shard of Darkness, Plane of Shadow --
“Word is, there’s a dark altar hidden somewhere in the Lower Ward, which opens up to the Plane o’ Shadows. No clue what the key is, though seems like berks heavy with gemstones access it often…”
Vampiric Twins, Phlegethon --
“Go down the wrong routes in Phlegethon, and you’ll find t’ twins. Hard to miss ‘em, they’re defended by samurai deaders. What’s a samurai? No clue. You’ll be dead long before you get the chance to ask ‘em.”
A Vampyr’s Lair, Semuanya’s Bog --
“About Semunya’s Bog, there lies rumours of a great giant undead which holds lair there. Word is that you can find its lair, hidden beneath the earth, through a series of ruined tunnels -- where’d that be? Pike if I know! Go and find out yourself if you’re keen.”
Cog 200, Mechanus --
“Ever heard of GISA? No, not ‘geezer’, I mean-- pike it. Doesn’t matter. Chant is, the Modron Directors of Cog 200 are goin’-- weird. Why not investigate it, see what the pike’s goin’ on? I warn you, though -- the modron ain’t to be messed with if you value your life. Not that you do, ‘course.”
Vaults (15-20+)
“Some say they appeared out o’ nowhere, others say they’re part o’ some grand plan by Powers, others say they are prisons for what’s kept within. I say they’re filled with goodies, an’ I like goodies. Vaults’re hidden about the Outlands, an’ each of them require a unique key. Sometimes the Guild likes to give ‘em out, other times you can find them about the lairs o’ greater creatures. If you’re ever lucky enough to find one, cutter, know that trials and treasures await your sorry hide.”
Dragons (20+):
“Rumour goes that there’s about five known roosts fer worms o’ different shades to frequent. You’ll hear barmy Planeswalkers of great experience talk about ‘em -- white, red, green, blue, prismatic, dramatic -- but what’re they really goin’ on about? Who knows the dark of it, an’ how these dragons evade death from bein’ so heavily targetted, but what I can tell you is this: they like to roost ‘bout places which correspond to their nature, and they like havin’ bodyguards. If you’re barmy enough to discover it for yourself, use your brain.”
Zhalxos (?):
“Don’t.”
“That’s the list, my darling basher. What’re you keen on? -- Oh, and before you go off on your merry way, I need my pay. Tout work ain’t free, you know. What do you mean you didn’t know if was a paid expense? What do I look like, a ring-giver? Now pay up.”